10 Ways to Not lose Weight

1. Eat until your stomach hurts
2. Make and eat dessert every night
3. Eat lots and lots of candy
4. Avoid all forms of exercise
5. Invent a new meal that fits conveniently between breakfast and lunch
6. Have junk food available at all times
7. Drink from your 18 month olds jug of whole milk
8. When you get up in the middle of the night to go potty grab a quick snack
9. Maybe have a quick milkshake to wash down your snack
10. Keep saying that your diet starts tomorrow